It Had To Be You
by Backne
Summary: After years of retirement, it's hard to fit into normal life. Seeing people and making friends is harder than it should be. We're too different, too far along to change. But at least we have each other. Or did. KiGo, one-shot, song-fic, future-fic


I don't own Kim Possible.

I don't own Motion City Soundtrack.

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It Had To Be You

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_I'll get lost, messed up and bored when I'm alone too long  
I can't sleep, function or eat when I'm not with someone  
Late last fall, she ended it all and moved to who-knows-where  
Just like that, she vanished and packed and never even called_

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I slumped back in my chair, stared off into space, play with my fingers and try to think clearly. I'm so bored out of my mind I can't seem to comprehend anything that's going on, or listen to conversations directed at me anymore. All I do seem capable to do is stare at the TV, getting older, all by my lonesome. I'd done threw my fit after being dumped. I was past that. Didn't mean I couldn't stop thinking about her though, now does it?

Enemies to friends to lovers. What an odd ball combo that was, at least for me. Didn't matter anymore though. I was retired and out of the game, alone and thinking to myself about all the things I could've done better, done right. Maybe Kim would still be with me, sitting on the couch in my arms. We might be kissing a little, touching gently while she whispered sweet nothings during commercials. How nice that'd be. Nothings or not, they were still nice to hear, nice to be their intended target.

I shifted positions on the couch, the same couch we lounged around on all those lazy days. We'd always been in sync in a strange sort of way that I couldn't explain. It was like we were on a totally different page than everyone else, but always together, reading the same words and understanding their meaning. I needed and wanted her, no matter how much venom her words had held that night. I kept reminding myself that it wasn't like her.

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_Do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and me?  
A kind of macabre and somber WonderTwin type of harmony  
What if it was you?  
You that I needed all along  
I felt like a fool,  
Kicking and screaming and pretending we were wrong_

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Reluctant to accept it or not, we were made for each other. We'd been with other people before, but like I said, we're on a totally different page than everyone else. We know things they don't, laugh at things they won't, do things they can't. It's like we're aliens trying to communicate with earth. People just didn't understand us, and never would. No matter what, we were different from the rest of the populace.

At first we denied our attraction and sense of longing for the other, each of us chanting '_I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay'_ in our heads. Sitting and talking, laughing with each other at the jokes no one else got and discussing old fights. Every time one of us would mention an old friend or foe (depending on who was talking), Kim would always say "It only seems like yesterday," to which I'd just nod. She missed it, and so did I, but neither of us wanted to admit it. Yet another thing no else seemed to be able to relate to.

Of course, I didn't miss it enough to wreck the new friendship that had formed between us, but sometimes I'd make a playful jab or punch her arm lightly. On a particularly stressful Thursday afternoon in the "real world" as Kim called it, we were talking when I mentioned we should have a sparring match, just to see if I still had my touch. Kim jumped at the opportunity, and soon we were jumping around in an unused room in my apartment, lashing out with unrestrained punches and kicks, tossing playful insults around.

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_Let's get wrecked on pop tarts and sex and see the Taj Mahal  
Let's save birds from Prince William Sound and skateboard through the mall  
Let's fight crime with mangoes and limes and join the PGA  
Let's win big with every spin but hurry, I can't wait_

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I guess I went a little too far with one of my jibes, because Kim's face twisted up and she connected her fist sloppily but efficiently with the side of my face, sending me skidding down the hall. She was straddling my waist in an instant, holding my hands over my head with her left hand, right pulled back in a ready punch. Her eyebrows were set in an angry line across her forehead, lips parted as she panted with exertion and adrenaline. She'd never looked sexier.

Her face was no more than a few centimeters from mine, hot breath fanning out across my skin. I stared back at her eyes, my own mouth slightly open. Unlike in the stories, I did think of what I was doing before I lifted my head up and pressed my lips to hers. It was light and brief, no hardcore face-sucking of any kind, though I wouldn't have been horribly opposed if there had been. Slowly, as we stayed posed in the same position for what felt like hours, but could only have been seconds, we caught our breath.

She didn't release me for a long time, just stared down at me with this unreadable emotion on her face, like someone had hit the pause button on our lives. Then, finally (and unfortunately), she removed her hands from my wrists and rose, standing above me for a few seconds while I lay below, never breaking eye contact. When she offered her hand down to me, it took me several minutes to reach up and take it, while my brain was rapidly trying to psychoanalyze her reaction to my kiss. I wasn't sure what to make of her right then. After all those years of fighting and digging into her life for the most personal of insults, I couldn't figure her out right then for the life of me.

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_Do you spend a fortune on those late night prepaid television scams  
In search of the perfect blender, steak knife and non-stick frying pan?  
What if it was you?  
You that I needed all along  
I felt like a fool  
Thinking we were completely wrong  
It seemed like a dream  
A beautiful scream  
That echoed forever  
And made us not afraid to feel a thing_

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As I think, my stomach hurts in a way I'm not used to. It feels empty and cold, like a jack-o-lantern someone had scooped the inside pulp and seeds out of. She left without a word. I really thought that was the end of our friendship, but I was wrong. The next day she was back, talking and chattering just like before, leaving me to catch up with her. I wanted to ask what the hell her problem was, leaving me to skulk around the day before and then pop back in like nothing had happened. I'd have rather she hate me than pretend that kiss hadn't happened. I told her so.

She blinked once at my outburst, and then her smile came back as if nothing had been said. Before rage had a chance to wash over me, she strolled right up to me, put her hands on my shoulders and kissed me on the lips just as lightly as I had her. "Why would I ever pretend it hadn't?" she asked softly, smiling softly and kissing me again. A few more light pecks on the lips, and I'd had enough of playing nice. Wrapping one arm around her waist and tangling the other hand in her thick red hair, I kissed her hard, to which she (I hoped) gladly returned.

Things were as easy as breathing for us. It didn't take all that awkward time of adjusting like it seemed to for most recently emerging same-sex couples. People we knew stared at us a little oddly when they saw our hands linked as we strolled through the park, or kissed at the dinner table in a restaurant. Kim merely smiled sweetly at all those washed-out old folks who had nothing better to do than glare at us.

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And after it ends  
We'll try to be friends  
They say that what doesn't kill us makes us who we are

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I can't understand why she left me. No matter how many times I play with idea in my mind, I still can't even quite grasp the fact that she really has. The way she whispered "Shego…" after a particularly sweet kiss, or stroked my hair after a heated night in bed, it was almost unfathomable. I still remember the night I choked out the truth to her. My "I love you, Kimberly" came out as an almost unrecognizable jumble of garbled sounds, so I'd had to repeat myself. It was one of the very few times in my life I'd ever been nervous.

"I love you, too, Shego." She purred out, her lids hanging seductively over her shining eyes. My stomach was reduced to a bubbling puddle of goo, and the slow passionate kiss that followed sent tremors up my spine, making my scalp tingle and my skin hot and damp. She was my 'somebody', I was sure of it. I still am. She had had to be made just for me, because there was no one else I'd ever met who was so alike me, and yet to different.

It was hard to keep my hands off of her, even in public. I was always touching her; stroking her hair, holding her hand, rubbing her arm or squeezing her shoulder. Late at night in bed, I'd lay awake and watch her sleep. Sometimes I'd think about how things had been, and how they were now. I could recall bits and pieces of old thoughts that might've foreshadowed our relationship now. If any one had ever asked if I thought our relationship would ever come to its close, I would've said no.

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_All this time and everything's changed but I still feel the same  
All good things eventually end and get washed down the drain  
What a disaster it would be if you discovered that I cared  
A little too much for friends but not enough to share_

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I watch a cooking wear commercial flick across the screen of my TV. It doesn't hold my interest, but then a memory shoots through my mind of Kim going on about how every home needs decent cooking wear. I'd laughingly disregarded the idea, much to her annoyance, we'd fought over it. It was a dumb thing to argue about, and despite our many fights, it had been the final one and a week later, we'd broken up. I wonder that maybe if I'd let her order the stuff if we'd still be together…I quickly throw the thought away. No, she'd have broke up with me anyway. No use fretting over something I couldn't change.

There's a soft, unmistakable knock at my door. I have the volume low, so I still hear it over the noise of men advertising their special pans and knives. For some reason, the commercial becomes suddenly interesting, I guess because it helped conjure up a memory of Kim. It seems anything Kim-related has an unbreakable hold over my attention anymore. So I stand slowly, watch the screen as I walk over to my door and unlatch my many assortments of locks. I was pleased that I no longer felt that rush of excitement and anger anytime someone came to my apartment.

I open the door easily, and stare at a very forlorn and familiar face. Green eyes reluctantly meet mine, ashamed and miserable. I don't react like I imagined I would, even after playing the scene over and over in my head for several months. I just stand still, staring back steadily, breath coming out in shallow puffs, blinking slowly with my hands hanging limply at my sides. My lips feel like they've been super-glued shut, my throat tight and aching. Wet heat runs down my cheeks, and it takes me a moment to realize that I'm crying. I don't dare make a sound.

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_What if it was you?  
You that I needed all along  
I felt like a fool  
Now that I'm sure that I was wrong  
It had to be you.  
It had to be you.  
It had to be you.  
I knew it was you._

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"Shego, I…" She trails off, her voice cracking. She comes through the doorway and flings her arms around me. Lifting her head slightly, her mouth pressed onto mine desperately and none to gently. It's a rough kiss, but I don't mind, and I welcomingly return it while my arms wrap around her torso, tight and possessive. I know that if she ever tries to leave me again I might just lose it.

I barely manage to close the door as we awkwardly stumble down the hallway to my bedroom, tripping and nearly falling a few times, but unwilling to let go of the other. We can barely stop kissing long enough to see where we're going. We wind up in a clumsy heap on my mattress, gasping and sobbing like a scene out of a soap opera. But I can't say I really care. I'm just happy and sad all at the same time.

We had sex. I'm not ashamed to say it. It's just how Kim and I are. We're different, because where as most people would be talking out their problems, we just skip on and go right where we really want to be and leave the talking for later.

"You're never going to leave me again." I whisper possessively against Kim's naked shoulders, sucking the skin lightly.

"I love you, too." She whispers, holding my tighter against her.

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No flames. I posted warnings, so you should read them.


End file.
